On being away, hungry, and full of emotion.

I had a little bit of a cry with my boyfriend and best friend last night. The reason: I was way behind on a paper, was going to end up turning it in late, I was horrifically hungry. Also, it was 6:05 am. I get really cranky when I'm tired. I don't see the positives and only focus on the negatives. I saw myself as a massive failure. Failure to do work, failure to make friends...I've been taking regular two hour naps today and am feeling much better.

The fact that I only have 40 days left in this country left me in a panic. I saw that I wasn't having 'the time of my life' here, like you're supposed to. I've heard the arguments before, countless times. You should seize this opportunity. You should be enjoying yourself, because you'll never get to do this again.

Doesn't matter that I was regularly spat on (metaphorically)/ ignored by my fellow flatmates. Doesn't matter that nobody I know is in any of my classes, so I don't see them at all. People have extended their stays to a year, and I wonder HOW they can do it. Do they not care about home?

I'm being mean. Of course they care about home. But they have certainty that they can change as much as their surroundings. I'm sure that it'll be the same when I get home, my boyfriend will still be loving, my bed will still be comfy, but, still.

40 days.