Last post: Or BAG OF EMOTIONS

After my last final, I realized that I was going to say goodbye to everyone I met here, and will, in all honesty, never see them again. This includes many of my american friends, who live in different states. First thing that was odd about the night of the 17th: I didn't even think of crying. I was so lazer focused on getting safe and sound to the airport, that I didn't think of anyone else.

If you know me, you know that I cry very easily when it comes to goodbyes. They are what make movies like Return of the King and, yes, even Mamma Mia, nigh unwatchable to me. This is even sadder than if someone dies. They're still alive. They have every reason never to separate, but they do. If you know the depths of the friendships I made here, seeing me with dry eyes and a face only red and sniffly from the cold is downright sociopathic. Of course, I gifted several Brits what I thought they would like in American Indie. I was going to hang out with my flatmates first, before traipsing off to Koko and getting visibly drunk, getting noodles, going back to Koko, going to Teviot, going to Burger King, going back to Teviot, and finally ending the night with the people I love most.

THUSLY

I stayed up with Jan, Rory, James, and Ayesha all sitting in my depressing, empty room.

When they said goodbye, I felt a twinge of tears. When I was writing the note to my flatmates, telling them how awesome they were, tears quivered. But nothing came of it. It wasn't until I was in the taxi at 5 am, with Dillon, talking about how I was a pseudo mentor/punching bag to everyone, did a tear run down my cheek. I got to the airport and hugged Dillon goodbye. I then got in line, was told that I had to wait for my flight to be called. I hung out with Emily, Dillon, and Corey while I waxed poetic on my own madness. They left. "IT'S FULL OF BLOOD!"


After that, I ran into Finlay, an elementary school friend who was also studying in Edinburgh, and we waited in line together. When we finally got to the front of the line, the news hit us like a ton of pigeons.

"London is closed"

Thousands of people were stranded in London. It was easy to fly into, but impossible to get out of. Not because of lave, not because of the four horsemen of apocalypse, not even because of a psychotic escaped Irish setter: because of snow. It had snowed litte more than an inch, and this country is so goddamn incompetent that they shove their fingers in their ears and let it's citizens riot. Finlay and I then made panicked phone calls to our parents, me yelling at my mother for not getting impossible flights fast enough, Finlay pale and nodding at what her father had to say. Keep in mind, I was going on no hours of sleep, and Finlay was doing similarly. We ran into a friend of hers that was waiting in line for six hours. British Airways--I am disappoint. Never flying you ever again.

LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME WEEP IN SUCCESSION:

I haven't slept in 24 hours (unhealthy)

I'm missing my birthday, my birthday dinner, and being able to order my first drink. (sad)

Getting home and leaving a message on the boyfriend's wall about how I'm not going to see him (very sad)

Eating porridge and diet coke where it was supposed to be wine and pasta. On my birthday (extremely depressing)

Having my flatmate come and hug me in bed to say goodbye (happy)

My other flatmate made me a cake (very happy)

GusGus left a comment on my wall about being safe, and not worrying (touching)

My boyfriend calls me and has his entire family sing happy birthday to me (joyful)

And now, my friends, I hope to get up at 5 am and hop on a plane to Dublin (after breakfast, of course), Dublin to Chicago, Chicago to San Francisco, where my parents and boyfriend will meet me. Hopefully. If all hell doesn't break loose.

Exam Week

HIGHLIGHTS

1) Carving on a desk that said "DON'T PANIC". Below that, "TOO LATE".

2) Being the only one in the room without my student card, and finding it in my sweatshirt pocket two days later.

3) Watching the entire Gargoyles First Season in TWO DAYS.

4) One person looked and spoke like Alan Cumming. Another, like Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

5) Never having to drag myself to the New College EVER AGAIN.

6) Cadbury. Cream. Egg.

7) Actually knowing what the heck I'm talking about on my first two finals.

8) Clearing out all the stuff I plan on leaving here in a nice little box.

LOWLIGHTS

1) Not sleeping more than ten hours the past three days.

2) I'm...actually going to miss this place?

It's All the Same To Me

Listening to Anya Marina when cramming for my Islam exam--not the most fun thing.

Doing it while hopped up on three cups of coffee, a full serving of mejadarra (that I will be eating for the rest of my life...) and the burning, passionate hope that the taxi that's supposed to come at 5 am on the 18th will come and I won't be stuck in the country for the rest of december--even less so.

And I haven't slept :D

LOCA LOCA LOCA

I went museuming today by myself. It was nice to go at my own pace and look at all the things behind the glass. There's a real tranquility in museums--how predictable they are, how the painted white backgrounds to exhibits display whatever artifact it's showing so starkly. I'm a sucker for dioramas, along with ancient roman stelae and old christian woodwork, both of which were in the museum in abundance. I took a look at the souvenirs, decided I could get it for much less at the local pound store, and went on my way.

I got a coronation chicken sandwich that was delicious. Hours later, the mayonnaise was making my tummy cry. Still, I managed to re-read/annotate half of my readings for my Islam course, like a boss. I had some tea and lay there via skype as the Ninth Street Hooligans decided who the new officers would be. I am the new spirit chair and party planner.

...

This...is amazing. I feel like I actually have a role in the Hooligans now. I know I was there since it's birth (every pizza party, every hopeful concert, every den of inequity) and I know I'm a respected member, but now I can give back tangibly. As sappy as this may sound,I love the Hooligans like they're my own family. I plan on giving them a big group hug when I'm back at Scripps.

Seven days, and so much to do.

Eeeeeek.

First Final

Went fine. I'm not going to say anything about it, so the final gods don't hear me and say "HA HA! BLASPHEMY." It took place in McAdams Hall--which, to all accounts, is a freaking opera house. One building--so many baroque looking staircases. I wish I had my camera. It was truly magical. Of course, it was still super cold in the building. If I hadn't looked like a yeti (six laters of clothing--ohhh yeahhhh), I would have frozen.

But it it so, so cold. I wore four pairs of socks. Four. And my toes still froze.

Now, to Claudia's! It's her 21st, so we're going pub hopping. While looking like yetis.

DUH NUH NUH NUH, DUH NUH NUH NUH-NUH

The countdown of how long I have left in Edinburgh begins.

I never thought I would get to this point. Well, of course I knew that time does in fact move forward, and that I would eventually find myself partway through a revelation that I'm going to miss this place. I said it. I love this place now. It took me months to say it, and now this is in my top five cities in the world. On the fifth of december.

I've had pleasant experiences lately--going to a carol service with my flatmates, hanging out more with various friends. I didn't make the friends I thought I would make here, but that's okay. A majority of my friends are other Americans. I am no better at faking a scottish accent than I was back home,before I came. The only real change is my views on California (it's the most amazing place in the world), and my pants are a little tight. It seems all the weight I've gained is in the past month--let's hope that it falls off as quickly as it adhered itself to my body. If not, I'll be a little stressed, but then I'll have a gym to go to. And capoeira to attend etcetc.

I went to the German market twice now--once with flatmate Canada, another time with Dillon. I made soup that wasn't terrible and finished it today. My mission--to finish ALL of the food I bought already, and not to go to Tescos until every last oat, lentil, and grain of rice is gone.

SNOWWW

It snowed in Edinburgh! Having never experienced it here before, of course I went outside to lie in it. I threw some snowballs and made a snow angel beside the Potterrow at 2 am.

It was snowing when I went to the grocery store this morning. It continued snowing as I ate my breakfast.

The Canadian flatmate (Margaret) and I went on a walk around three, all around our area of the city. The snow had partially melted, and it was that awful brown slush for most of the way, but it was white and lovely in the gardens, behind the fences. There's a German fair going on on Prince's Street for some reason--complete with rides and booths. I got a pretzel with mustard on it, and Margaret got Currywurst, which is exactly what it sounds like. A bratwurst with curry powder.

Magical.